Ignazio Tidu| My Life in the Sea Org - Class XII Auditor | | Print | |
| Saturday, 05 December 2009 12:23 | |||||||
Page 2 of 5 CLASS XII AUDITOR One day out of the blue I get briefed that I was being selected to return to FSO to train as a class 9 auditor. Boy, that wasn't easy! It was the highest level I could train for, to deliver upper levels at my own organization, very exciting indeed, but it also meant that I had to be away from my family for a couple of years and that I didn't like it at all! Yet again when it gets pushed on you, that duty calls and you as a sea org member are supposed to do anything that duty calls for, I had no other choice. I recall the upset of my wife at the time, but next morning I was departing to the US. Upon arrival there, I was introduced to the group of Outer org trainees and began my training line up. I wasn't very pleased to see a lot of people redoing the Pro TRs and much less the so called Flag Metering course. I had some experience if my own with the use of the E-Meter, so it didn't make very much sense to me having to look at students yelling in a very unnatural voice while doing exercises to make the needle react. There was something awfully wrong with that training facility. No wonder it was almost impossible to complete the course in the given time and nobody could graduate from any class of internship for over a year in the whole Base!!! Yet it was the Mecca of technical perfection. I was simply horrified. Anyway, I got through my first steps, luckily, my wife ended up being selected for the same training program, so we got back together and she had been smart enough as well as courageous, to bring with her our child. It soon became a big flop, she wasn't supposed to bring the kid with her, and was being rejected and sent back home. But a saving grace occurred following her running into David Miscavige, better known as COB (Chairman of the Board). They had already met shortly before in Denmark during the evolution of the official opening of the fully renovated building for AOSH EU. Upon seeing her he asked how she was doing, to which she replied telling what was going on. For whatever reason, COB got interested in the matter and decided to keep her and the whole family as FSO staff members. Mind you, I always wanted to be an FSO auditor from the very beginning, so it wasn't much of a surprise to me; however, it wasn't really what my wife wanted. She was very upset, to say the least, and had to be taken care of by some RTC Rep until she cooled down. It all seemed more than extraordinary to me, my dreams were coming true! Both of us got interviewed and asked what kind of training we would like to do. I had my answer ready without hesitation; I wanted to become a Class XII! And so I got my personal training program exactly for that. As a side note, I was aware that the sudden transfer from my previous organization to FSO wasn't happening according to standard policies on that matter, in fact, the colleagues from the Danish base were very upset and reported the ongoing event as being illegal. I wasn't going to protest for it at all, particularly if it was COB's decision, whatever he decides, usually it gets done one way or another, so I wasn't going to get in trouble about it at all. As I progressed on my training line up, I was experiencing some physical fatigue, mainly due to the very intense schedule, which to my viewpoint, didn't allow much time to sleep as we had to get up at about 7,00 am and when lucky, get to bed at night at about 23,00. The old problem of not seeing your own kids was present at that base as well. I recall my wife going to see our kid late at night, hoping she was still awake. Now, both of us was in need of a VISA to remain stably in the US, so we returned to Europe and arranged for the necessary arrangements. While down in Italy, I get a call from a senior executive at the FSO briefing me of a special duty that arose unexpectedly at the time. Somebody had to be picked up at the Malpensa airport in Milano and assisted in a special assignment. Again duty calls and I was just ready to do my part. However the financial arrangements were completely off the rails, to a point that no money was available to finance the project I had been briefed on. Of my own initiative, I proposed a solution which would entice me asking for some cash to some persons I knew, which were likely to lend the money to me, providing the organization was going to pay it back as soon as possible. I trusted the senior executive who promised she'd take care of the matter and went ahead in my plan. I got the money and moved along with the plan. I was very disappointed when months later I'd found out that the money had not been returned to the persons, who happened to be church's parishioners. I couldn't believe it, but it was the case. I hope it got sorted out later, following my reporting of the situation, but I've never found out to date. Fortunately, our Visa application was approved for both with a 5 year permit, so we flew back to Florida. I was really very dedicated to my training, so I managed to complete most of it in the due time if not ahead of schedule. The results with my Preclears (our slang for clients receiving counseling) were very good so I became one of the top auditors, just as I wanted. I recall when I completed my class 8 internship, my passing video of the session I had delivered, was absolutely perfect! I was very proud indeed. As I had been selected for the class XII line up, I was getting ready as a preclear, to receive the auditing part which would include receiving the very famous Ls Rundowns. That proved to be a very peculiar experience as I was getting the so called L11, I felt some very rapid changes occurring, yet I had very little clue as to what was going on. I recall getting asked some question and a second later it was as if a ton of bricks landed on my head and as the process continued it all of a sudden was gone like fog in the sunshine. Some colleague already working as class XII had warned me, before I began my training, that the course materials were not in very good shape and in some occasion, they are not so easy to grasp. I thought the person in question must have misunderstood word and was just being bitter about the subject because of that. To my surprise however, when I saw the materials first hand, I understood what the reality was all about. Many of the issues of the course materials were not written by LRH and in some cases, I had to study session worksheets which were so bad, having been copied over and over, to a point that it was impossible for anybody to figure out what the original content was. I wondered to myself, how in the name of God it was possible that the highest level training materials were in such condition. I was very certain it was all known and it didn't make any sense. I did all I could to evaluate the importance of the data I was supposed to know for the courses and completed them. No practice was required at any of these courses, so I was filled with theory, but zero experience for these very powerful levels. DAVID MISCAVIGE SHOWS UP Coincidentally, COB came around the FSO when I had completed my class XII course, so all of a sudden I get told late in the evening, that I had to make a video of a session for him to see. I'd not mind doing a video for anybody to watch except if I've to do it just out of the blue to prove God knows what. A session is done for a person, not as a show for a spectator, whoever that might be. I wasn't very happy of the circumstances, none of my clients was fit to have a session yet it had to be done no matter what. It gets arranged that a fellow staff member gets summoned for a session and he was made fit by feeding him and whatever was needed. I didn't like being forced in session under these circumstances, but didn't have much choice. I did some basic procedure and at one point my preclear said something I didn't grasp which threw me a curve and for a moment I was blank, then following that brief moment I said something to reorient myself and the other person as to what we were doing and continued the session to the end. It wasn't a particularly exciting session at all, I was just glad it was over. Next day however, when I got the critique for it, I was in shock for how bad it had been graded, as if I was one of the worst auditors. Mind you, when you get a critique from an RTC Rep, there is not much you can protest about it, regardless of it being right or wrong, this was just the beginning however. The experience was indeed very upsetting, and it left its mark. Anyway at least it served to something, following my completion of the Class XII course, the check sheets were taken out of use and don't know, but I highly doubt that they have been replaced with something understandable. It was October 1998, I was the last one to train as Class XII, over 10 years after my predecessor and never heard of anybody else making it ever since. The Class XIIs are an endangered species on their way to extinction, they are getting rather old and God knows what else might be troubling them. I recall a vivid incident at which the then senior C/S FSO, slammed a female Class XII against a wall for having committed some error in reading the E-meter in a session, he was yelling to her face at the top of his lungs while pushing her. I didn't like it very much, for I would never lift my hands on a woman and be violent as he did. Whatever his reasons, it wasn't anything I had learned to do from any LRH materials I had studied up to that point. Anyway, I was by then a class VIII auditor so I began auditing at the Advanced Organization located in the Sand Castle. I was able to produce well with ease and my clients were more than happy with my performance. Another point I must bring to the attention of the reader is the description of how much time off a staff member is allowed while being part of the Sea Organization. Basically one works every day of the week (7 days) and is entitled 2 and 1/2 hours of personal enhancement per day, to be used either for training purposes related to one's post or for spiritual counseling (auditing) to improve oneself spiritual wise. Now providing one's production on post, as monitored by statistics, is better than the previous week, you'd be entitled to a full day off every 2 weeks. In other words if your statistic was up and was your week's turn, you were supposed to submit the request to be off, which didn't necessarily mean that it'd get approved. As a matter of fact, my personal experience as an auditor became almost a routine of being denied a full day off regardless of my personal production which war steadily very high indeed. When I was lucky, I'd get some hours off on Saturday evenings. The main reason being given for the denial of the full day off was always about having to deliver our services to our public and not making them wait. Yet LRH had laid out that an up stat staff member is entitled to a liberty day every 2 weeks. But all auditors turned out getting penalized, so I got used to it and continued my duty even if embittered about the above unfair treatment. The worse experience I can recall was one time when I made my personal Highest Ever delivery with over 56 hours of Well Done Auditing Hours, it was my turn to have the day off, yet I was denied it by my senior. I was disgusted, to say the least. However, duty became my strongest motivation, I was loyal to LRH and I was doing what I was doing primarily to help him, regardless of how some people interpreted his very teachings. Of my own initiative, to sort of make myself independent as well as practice some exercise, I got hold of a bike and began to use it to travel from and to the berthing during some days of the week. I used to stay at the QI, an old resort facility which became the berthing for married couples with kids. There was also a cadet's org for the kids to be taken care of and educated in schooling matters. At one point, while servicing one of my clients, I had a convenient deal offer for a used car he was giving away and we worked out a fair exchange for both sides so I was able to get a car despite the very low weekly allowance of $50. My wife was more than happy and we began to use it. Another point I want to mention, was the fact than on Friday nights one would manage to go to the movies after a long week of production and I recall going once with some colleagues before I had my own vehicle. The berthing places were not yet surrounded by fences and nobody was yet posted as gate keeper to the property. That however was soon going to change. In fact, the fences began to be put on and some guard had to be on duty 24 hours a day on a couple of shifts. It was implemented as a way to keep our premises secure from intruders, however it also became a way to prevent anybody to get out at one's discretion, without being monitored and questioned as to what you were up to. My joy about having a car didn't last very long. Just a few months after I got it, an internal issue came out forbidding the use of personal vehicles and only the organization buses were allowed. It was allegedly for PR reasons with the Clearwater inhabitants. It really made no sense to me at all, but the order was coming down from COB as I had figured, so there was no way around it or you'd get in trouble. The guards at the gate in the berthing places got their briefings and nobody could use their car unless a proper authorization had been granted. The restriction then expanded to nobody being allowed to walk between the buildings and we were all to go by van or bus even to make a very short distance. I was getting really beefed up and couldn't really be happy about all this nonsense. Even going to a local food store was no longer permitted to a point that on a Thursday after having worked my butt all morning till over 14, 00 missing my regular lunch, I went to have a slice of pizza in a nearby food store in Cleveland st, shortly after, a security guard from my own organization, comes by and asks me to leave. I had to refrain myself from getting physical and punching that arrogant young fellow, so I continued eating but rather annoyed by the event. Meanwhile, the Golden Age of Tech got launched and I was one of the first ones to do the steps to become the new breed of auditor as promoted by David Miscavige. That was fine, I became more proficient than I was and don't complain about it. However when as part of the instructions written by COB requiring all tech personnel to do star rate checkouts line by line on a long list of issues, I got struck by it. I was a very well trained Course supervisor, knew my study tech very well, yet that kind of checkout was nowhere to be found in any LRH material I had previously studied. It was his own invention or better say alteration of the original version. I knew that my pointing out to the above would just get me in trouble, so manage to avoid following the order and kept quiet. Nobody else seemed to notice it and no mention of it was made at any later point. Then it came the Golden Age of Tech for Ots, addressing upper level materials. I also got trained, due to high demanding delivery resources, for the next upper level, so I became a Class IX, which was not a prerequisite to my previous training up to Class XII. So now besides class VII, I had done it all, from scratch all the way to Class XII. I was very proud, it was my dream coming true and I was very grateful to LRH for having acquired so much knowledge through the study of his materials. Now going back to the Golden age of tech for OTs, it was announced with the name of arbitraries removed, so one would now move faster on his route to total freedom. That was fine, however when you announce that the way something was done up to that point was wrong and nobody noticed it before, yet you were the one closely monitoring it, something doesn't quite add up. I knew all the persons on the upper levels were monitored by RTC all the way up to COB himself, so how come now, all of a sudden you announce that a certain auditing action was in violation of LRH materials, it was all there to begin with! But now it was presented as the big technical breakthrough. Anyway, once again the self- promoting propaganda was having its own effect on the public and as long as I had somebody to audit I kept doing just that. But another experiment gets launched from the very top. All auditors and their Case supervisors, got briefed on the fact that between some old auditors there seemed to be some sign of disaffection, so it was deemed necessary to pilot a program of getting paired up and audit each other on a rundown up to that point hardly ever known at all, “The Truth Rundown” we all studied, drilled and eventually got started on the above, regardless of some people like my wife and some others being in the middle of some other step, which would make that piloting completely off the rails. Yes once again something odd happens as implemented by RTC and its very senior COB. Needless to say, I don't know who really benefited from the above offbeat program. For me personally, it was useless, I had no record whatsoever of having reasons to receive that rundown so it was completely unnecessary, not done for me in the least, but for someone else's caprice. My wife had a worse time of it than me. She ended up getting messed up with her own paired auditor and they both blew (Left Unauthorized) together. It was very upsetting indeed. Beside these random unpleasant aspects, I was determined to go on and continue to do my very best at my post. My wife got recovered by the security personnel after a couple of weeks, she had traveled all the way from Florida to California, attempting to return back to Italy and leave the Sea Organization. Our security people had proven once again their efficiency so she returned to the base. Needless to say, she wanted nothing to do with me anymore and the sooner she'd divorce the better for her. I talked her out of leaving the Sea Organization, with the promise that I'd be taking care of the kid while she'd be doing her rehabilitation program, also known as the RPF. It wasn't an easy decision for sure, as it meant she couldn't see her kid for the whole length of the program except for some emergency situation that could arise. The whole program could take easily up to 2 years. We were not allowed to see nor talk to each other as well as the above. While being alone with the kid, for a period of 18 months, I recall feeling very upset about the whole thing and couldn't make any sense or find it useful by being prevented from communicating to my wife who was also segregated in a different berthing facility, with people like her, needing the RPF program according to internal organizational policies. I had succeeded in talking her out of the divorce at that stage, so when she completed the program, I had some hope we'd return together, but I was wrong. She had made up her mind and realized on her own that our marriage was, much to my surprise, a mistake to begin with. This meant we were still married, but living in separated berthing and mainly seeing each other if at all, during work hours. Sometime after that, in 2001 October, shortly after the 9/11 trauma, I got a call from my sister. My father was very ill at the hospital and was very likely to die from one moment to the other. I wasn't going back home since about 6 years and couldn't just miss paying my last visit to my father, so began to arrange for it. I renewed my passport and reserved the ticket for the soonest flight, however, when I was about ready to go, I got delayed because had to get a security check to make sure all was fine and I had no plans to just leave and never return. I was disgusted being delayed under the above circumstances and my request to leave as soon as possible was not approved, while my senior was more concerned about me taking the shortest amount of days off possible, so I'd return back to the production line up. Truly, it struck me and it came across as really not caring at all from the part of my senior, all she cared about, was to have me back in the chair auditing. I was so uninterested in being there at all to a point that the only thing I wanted was to be out of that space and gone. It's true, my service was convenient to the organization money wise, I've made a calculation, during the year 2000 I had delivered over 2300 auditing hours, which at the time was equivalent to almost $3 million!! Yet my own income had been about $3000 for the whole year. Yeah, you're right, nobody forced me to stay, it was all done on my own, but that's not all. I finally left regardless of the advice of the in charge of the special affairs guy, who told me not to leave or I wasn't going to be allowed to return to the US because my green card application, which was ongoing since 2 years, hadn't been approved yet. Honestly, I didn't give a damn at that stage, I counted on the fact that it was a real emergency and even customs personnel would understand that. I was wrong!!! My father was happy to see me again particularly knowing it was our last time together. He thanked me dearly for having come all the way from America to see him. Upon returning back to the US, following my scheduled LOA, I had the unpleasant surprise of being rejected by customs at the JFK airport and shipped back to Italy. I was treated almost like a criminal, and the Italian police had to come pick me up at the Malpensa airport in Milano. Upon a brief explanation to them as to what happened, I was allowed to go. I ended up spending the New Year’s Eve 2002 on board the airplane above the Atlantic and my first day of January wasn't looking much better. No flights were available for me to return home from there, so I had to figure out how to spend the day in some decent fashion. Out of my memory, I recalled somebody I knew lived around there so got hold of a phone directory and searched for his number. Luckily I succeeded and he was kind enough to come and pick me up and allow me to stay at his place until next day when my flight would take me back home, to may parent's place. I'm very thankful to the hospitality of such friend and there are many like him in my heart. So next day I was on my way back to Sardinia. Everyone was surprised about my return; it was really hard to understand how that all came about. I had no longer permit to return to the US for God knows how long, I couldn't continue with my job, couldn't see my daughter ever again, unless she would come visit me outside the US and that was very unlikely to take place. She was about 15 when I left her on Dec 2001. I've not see her ever since, unless she mailed me some photograph years later. Now being back home with my father still alive, but just about to depart, it wasn't very pleasant either. |
"Scientology has been taken over by a self-appointed dictator, David Miscavige, who has turned the Creed of the Church of Scientology, the Code of a Scientologist, and the Credo of a True Group Member on their heads and instituted the virtual practice of Reverse (Black) Dianetics..." 
Comments
Thank you for sharing your story.
I will admit that I was hoping that this was not also happening on the ship (naive I know) and that Sharon and Mike would not stand for it. A very sad disappointment.
My heart aches for those I dearly love who are ship staff and have to fight against this inhumane treatment - even if only the potential of such treatment.
I can attest you were a good and caring auditor. You audited me at the FSO and it went very well.
It's funny that while I was on my way out of the church you did gave me a C/S 53 by indication in Milan (arc x session) and you indicated something that was actually happening to me: "Feel attacked". At the time I was under attack by the C. of S... Shortly thereafter I got declared...
I wish you well my friend and good luck on reuniting your family.
Best Paolo
I ended up saying things which I didn't even believe because I'd be asked what I'm thinking and I'd say whatever I imagined after the question. I wasn't thinking anything besides how messed up this is. The Sec checker had something in his ear and he'd not want to take a "read" up, but this guy in the other room would talk to him in his ear and he'd take it up with me.
There's got to be some out tech if the sec check leaves you spinned in.
04' at Flag.
sono Caspar appena letto la tua storia incredible, but on the other hand I have indeed read similar stories and my own has some similarity as well.
I would like to talk to you in person some time or other. I intend to take some action in the socalled Freezone to clean up the squirreling that is going on and possible unite the field.
There is another person whom I would like you to meet as well.
Let me know if you are interested and otherwise I wish you well.
m. love,
Caspar
Remember one thing, you are now free to AUDIT, big time, man!!! Ha ha!
Welcome Back, mate!!!
ML, Theo Sismanides
On your long journey as auditor, did you ever learn to audit in German ?
Hey Caspar,
any chances to deliver SHSBC and class VIII ?
just wondering.
Arc
anything the church delivers can be delivered in the Freezone except the blows :-)
Caspar
Thanks for your story, which is a great read.
I have recently read several long articles and full-length books about life in the Sea Org by former scientologists, including descriptions of life at Hemet, Clearwater, Saint Hill, and the Los Angeles Complex. Your account of life on the Freewinds is a valuable contribution to the picture puzzle of Scientology that is now emerging in all its nefarious glory. The more people know about all facets of this organization, the better. Your account of your experience is a real public service. Thanks.
thank you for sharing your story.
When I read it yesterday I forgot all my life around me and could see those things happen before my eyes.
Though not having been myself in the Sea Org, in the '70s and '80s I have been in the SO-quarters in the Nordland-Hotel in Copenhagen, as well as those in St. Hill in the UK and I have supervised a short time in the Flag Crew Course room in Clearwater.
Each of these experiences was a shock. But after I was through that initial shock I felt complete admiration for these staffmembers who had so much Affinity that such circumstances could not stop them to help their fellow beings.
Afterwards I was in awe, when I saw them acting on their posts. I have no other words for that.
Thank you for what you have done - while being on staff and after. And thanks again for sharing your adventures. It has raised my confront.
Love
Alice
I read every word of your detailed write up. I do not doubt one word. Your tenacity in applying standard tech, even when half starved and sleep deprived is more than admirable, it's miraculous...
Now you need to continue to apply your skills as a Cl XII auditor to clean up the C of S's overt products. Good luck, my friend. I will be coming out soon...
ML,
Songbird
Yours is a cruel yet familiar story. How ironic that the Organization established for "removing the ills of man" harbors a management whose highest leaders are committing those very ills--- and in numbers.
I admire both your courage and tenacity in your experience and subsequent release.
I experienced similar suppressive treatment while an SO crew at ASHO-D back in the earlier days. I routed out after months of jumping through the off-policy flaming hoops and other suppressive obstacles. They play a very low toned game and really didn't care about keeping me around as I challenged their phony authority with gusto. I would have pulled them upscale and they weren't having any of that.
What a shame that they pervert the way out for so many? We'll all make it, I know that. But what a colossal cost in needlessly suffering individuals.
Imagine for a moment a Religion created to save mankind and offer sanity.
But who will save us from the highjacking of this Religion? Anyone interested? I am.
Rob
Highest affinity, Anita Warren
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