The destruction of my family| The Destruction of My Family | | Print | |
| Sunday, 13 June 2010 20:50 |
 Following are some highlights of my life growing up in the Sea Org and with a Scientology family. My hope is to bring the type of activity that I experienced to light so that others are not exposed to similar abuse. The experience affected me in an extremely negative way that I am still dealing with to this day. I was born in Geneva, Switzerland and I lived there with my parents, older sister and younger brother. When I was 4 years old my parents, both Scientologists, divorced and my father got full custody of my sister Valeska, brother Raphael and me. He decided to join the Sea Org in West Sussex, UK so we moved there and lived in the “housing” provided. My mom came with us at first but she was told that she couldn’t stay. She told my sister and me that she was going out to get coffee and she simply never came back. We spent the first night, all 4 of us, on a twin sized mattress that had bugs on it and smelled like urine. I remember that I was completely homesick, sad and crying because I missed my mom. None of us spoke English which made it so much worse. The first physical abuse I suffered was at the hands of a woman named Pam Hubbard Beale, no relation to L. Ron Hubbard. I was put in the ballroom of Stonelands (one of the Scientology properties located near East Grinstead) and she closed all the doors and locked all the windows. She then had me run around trying to find a way out until I had exhausted myself. When I finally gave up she proceeded to beat me on the butt. I had just turned 5. This intended to show us kids who was boss. The people supposedly taking care of us didn’t regard us as children; we were adults in little kid’s bodies, fully aware of the consequences of our actions, and fully responsible, and blameworthy for any result. Any mistake was regarded as a premeditated and deliberate act of destruction. We were in the Cadet Org, a mini Sea Org org. We all had posts and were assigned all sorts of manual labor: scrubbing walls, floors, cleaning the toilets, rooms, sweeping etc… not stuff that kids would normally do. Our cook, John Harvey, would refuse to feed us unless we filled out the sheets saying how good the food was and if we weren’t there at the designated time we definitely didn’t eat. I guarantee you there were no fat kids in the cadet org. We were all pretty much skin and bones cause we never had enough to eat. One of the clearest memories of my childhood is us kids banding together to steal food. We would put the smallest kids through the pantry or kitchen window and steal whatever food we could get. I was the kid that was normally on lookout. I had no problem putting myself in harm’s way if it meant protecting my older sister who was always one of the gang leaders. I’d stand by the kitchen door and knock till John would come to the door. When he opened it I’d squirt him with a water gun and then try and dodge his fists as he tried to punch me. I would then run through the house screaming because he always came after me and his punches hurt. I was normally faster than him and could get through to the other side of the house before he could catch me. When I first came to the Cadet Org we had a governor that watched over the smaller kids. His name was Bo, though I can’t remember his last name now. He sexually molested some of us, but when it was reported they just moved him to a different post. No charges were ever filed against him because in Scientology all justice is handled internally. Who cares if kids are getting molested, beaten or raped; it’s still all handled internally. After Bo we got Dominique and Heather. Dominique was by far the worst governess we had. I think I became the one kid she hated more than anyone and she decided she was going to break me no matter what. The first time she punched me in the face was when I was 10 years old. I’d been hit before by our other “caregivers” but never hard enough to knock me out. She punched me right in the face. The force of the blow sent me slamming into the wall behind me and I was out. This, like all other incidents was covered up. Bruises and other evidence of abuse were supposedly due to “fighting” between children. I had a mouth on me as a kid and hated Dominique. I made it a point to show her and Heather that they would never break me. The worst beating they ever gave me was when I was 10 or 11. I was playing upstairs and one of the boys, Oliver Morgan, was making noise in the shower room. Dominique thought it was me and yelled up the stairs at me to be quiet. My response, not thought out at all, was “make me shut up.” As soon as I said it, I knew I’d made a terrible mistake. Dominique came running up the side stairs and Heather came up the main stairs and I was trapped upstairs in between them. I ran down the hallway to try and make it to the 3rd floor so I could escape via the roof. I didn’t make it. I curled up into a ball as they proceeded to punch and kick me. After that they dragged me through the whole house by my hair and then Dominique threw me down the main stairs head first. I landed in the middle on my shoulder and could feel it dislocate, worst pain ever. I hit the bottom headfirst and slammed my knee into the brick floor. I was barely conscious but they still dragged me by my hair to the side door and threw me outside. They then went and locked all the doors to the house so I couldn’t get in. I was in my pajamas and had no shoes or socks and it was the middle of winter. I still to this day get major panic attacks if I get too cold. I also had to slam my own shoulder back in against a wall. To this day it still pops in and out. This incident was the ONLY time my dad ever said anything to Dominique about the physical abuse we experienced. I complained to him many times but he did nothing. My dad was in a car accident when I was 12. One of the people in the car died. One of the staff, John Cronin, thought it would be funny to come and tell me that it was my dad who had died. I was devastated and yet they didn’t tell me the truth several hours. I WAS 12 YEARS OLD!!!!! That was the last straw for me. I called my Swiss grandma and begged her to book me a ticket to Florida so that I could go live with some friends. I left England. The above is just a very small snippet of some of the atrocities that were committed in the Cadet Org. I can’t recall the number of times I was hit, knocked unconscious and we wrote reports and yet nothing was ever done about it. We were just future Sea Org members that needed to be molded into “good” SO members which meant breaking us down into robots. I was unbreakable but I paid a price to maintain my integrity. A couple of years later, when I was 14, I went on a holiday to England with my sister, who was 16 (and in the Sea Org at Flag) and my brother who was 12. We went to see my step mom, Angela. While I was there I decided to join the Sea Org in England thinking that this was the right thing to do. Things were very off policy and I could write a whole article about this but won’t at this time. I worked 16 hours a day and did not attend school. I was in the Sea Org till the age of 18 when I left, never to return. When I was 15 my mother was declared. This is another story in itself, but the short version is that my step father, Albert Jaquier, donated 6 million dollars to the Church and was owed millions of dollars from different Scientologists who he had loaned money to in order for them to buy church services. He was in bad health and was not making money due to his condition. He tried for years through the Church to get the money owed him by these Scientologists returned. Nothing happened, despite him writing to David Miscavige for help and getting no response and becoming the target and sent to ethics. He was not allowed to use the court system to get his money back as he was told this was "off policy." In the end he was so distraught and miserable that he committed suicide, leaving behind a 6 year old boy. This was a man who was a self made millionaire and he died in total despair and sadness with not a penny to his name. He asked my mother before he died to help get the scene sorted out with the Church and to make his story known. There are many more details, but I am not writing a book at this point so I am only covering the basics. As I said earlier my mother went to Switzerland, to the local org and asked to have a Chaplains Court to get the money returned. Of course, they took NO responsibility for their crimes but instead sued my mother and tried to get her jailed for "blackmail" because she provided evidence to the state concerning her husband’s death. The case went all the way to the Swiss Supreme Court and of course, the church lost as she had done nothing wrong. The result of this was that my sister (17 at the time), brother (13 at the time) and me were ORDERED to disconnect from our mother or we would be declared SP's and kicked out of the Church and we would also lose our father and step mother. Not knowing what else to do and being convinced that this was the right thing to do we all disconnected from my mother who we all loved very much. As a note my father was living in the States and divorced from my step mom, my brother and I were living in the UK with our step mother but no actual parent and my sister was living in Florida in the Sea Org by herself with no parent or legal guardian and had been since the age of 14. When I left the Sea Org I came to the US and moved in with my father and brother Raphael. My father’s wife and I had some disagreements and they forced me out. I lived in a very dangerous part of Chicago by myself in an apartment. This was scary for me and I was not enjoying life. I was invited to Scotland to see some friends and when it was time to go back to Chicago I could not bear the thought of returning to the life I had led. I called my Swiss Grandma, (on my mothers side) and begged her to let me come and live with her. My father got the news that I had done this and called me and let me know that he was disconnecting from me because I was in communication with my grandma who was connected to my "SP" mother. I was devastated by this, this was my father and I was 18 years old! I love my father and could not believe that he would do this. I went to Switzerland and stayed with my grandma for a few weeks, I then flew to Florida and went and lived with my mother. I got a job and met my future husband, Joe. I was living with my mother for a few months before I moved into my own place with Joe. He had a baby boy who I have raised for the past 10 years. I got a college degree and continued working. I was visited by OSA Flag and ordered to disconnect from my mother or I would be declared an SP and would lose my father, brother, sister and step mom. They tried to get me to come into Flag but I did not want to and did not want to disconnect from my own mother. I did not hear from the Church for a while and was living my life, working hard and getting top grades in my education. My husband and I had a baby girl. When my baby was one month old I got an SP declare in my mail box from the Church of Scientology declaring me for being connected with my mother! No Comm Ev was done. This resulted in my father, brother and sister all disconnecting from me, not because they wanted to but because they had to. Over the years my brother has had communication with me on the Internet and then cut the line because he had to or he would get in trouble with the Church and be declared. In Sept 2009 I got a phone call from my sister who had left the Sea Org and wanted to get my situation sorted out so that our family could be put back together, I was in agreement with this and requested a Comm Ev. This took months and months with nothing being done even though a Comm Ev is supposed to take 48 hours. My sister stayed in comm with me and my brother also got in comm with me. At Christmas I went to see my brother in LA and we spent the day together, this was great and he expressed how much he had missed me, he also asked to call my mother and was very happy to talk to her and let her know that he had a photo in his wallet of her and my half brother and had had it there all of these past 15 years that he had not been allowed to talk to my mom. I went home and then the shit hit the fan! My brother called Angela, my step mom growing up, and told her what had happened. She is in the Sea Org in England and told him that this was off policy and quoted the reference from OEC volume 1. Raphael went and spoke to CMO terminals in LA who told him that my idea of being in comm with my sister was "disapproved!" He was then sent to see OSA Int in LA who ORDERED him to disconnect from me and take me off Facebook within 24 hours or he would never get his Bridge and would be declared an SP. So my brother, not knowing what is really right and being scared, took me off Facebook and has not spoken to me since. My sister refused to disconnect from me. This resulted in my father and brother both disconnecting from her. By the way my sister is pregnant, very nice to have that happen when you are pregnant!!!! My sister has email from our dad where he states he will never be able to see his granddaughter (my daughter who by the way does not understand why she can't see her granddad and is quite hurt by this) and now he probably wont be able to meet his grandson (my sister’s boy). I recently lost about 50 friends on Facebook, these were all "Scientologists" in the "Church." One of my friends who was not willing to disconnect from me and whom I wont mention by name sent me an email telling me that the MAA in England had sent a broad email to all Scientologists in the UK letting them know that I had been redeclared an SP and that they all needed to disconnect from me. Of course I got no copy of the Comm Ev since the Church is infested with lies and has to cover themselves at all costs and take no responsibility for the lives that they have ruined with their insane off-policy actions and robotic followings of a crazy self-appointed dictator, David Miscavige. I have kept quiet for the past 10 years but after seeing the outright lies that the Church has told over the past 6 months including that there is no such thing as disconnection, I decided to speak out and tell a short version of my story. I hope this helps get the truth out. Although, I have to say, it is quite obvious who is lying. It would be a lot easier for the Church to just come clean and take responsibility for their crimes and change their ways and their corrupt, criminal cowardly leader who has twisted any sense of policy and turned the Church into a suppressive extortionist organization where no one has a right to an opinion and where lives are ruined to keep his crimes covered up. But the truth will come out in the end, just like it has in our entire history. Written by Melissa Paris |
"Scientology has been taken over by a self-appointed dictator, David Miscavige, who has turned the Creed of the Church of Scientology, the Code of a Scientologist, and the Credo of a True Group Member on their heads and instituted the virtual practice of Reverse (Black) Dianetics..." 
Comments
So sorry you had to go through that crap! But what a resilient, wonderful thetan you are. This was a sad story, but also a story of triumph. You are not and never will be a slave.
Thanks for telling your story. It serves as a wake up call to Scn parents.
I am so proud to hear that you are now a beautiful mom and have rejoined with your mom and sister. Well done for having such a high integrity.
You are absolutely right. The truth will come out and you will again rejoin with your brother and father. I am sure of that.
Thank you for being strong. Keep it up.
Love
I send you much love and grace.
thank you for speaking out. Whereas the shit hits the fan royally in the US, Europe is still relatively "quiet", so to me you are sort of a European pioneer opening up on abuses at
St. Hill.
(Please, correct me if I am wrong on that impression and refer me respectively.)
You are so right: The truth is unstoppable. Thank you for your courage!!
Best, Fidelio
I'll look for you on facebook ;-)
Wow, this leaves me breathless. And what strength you have, and had even as a child!
The situation you found yourself in growing up sounds like a nightmare. The sort of thing that, when reading it in a Dickens novel I would not conceive could be going on in the civilized world today.
Thank you for bringing your experience to light, and showing how utterly anti-child and anti-family the organization known as the "church" has become.
Thank you very much for writing this amazing story. It must have hurt to write it, but you are doing mankind a service getting this truth out.
Hang in there a little more and continue your comm. We will be out of this mess shortly.
we need more people to step forward like this and tell their story. The more we get the closer we get to the end.
ML Tom
Thank you for your story, which took a bit of guts to tell - had no idea how rough it was and the injustices which abound to grow up in the SO. Knew Valeska from the Freewinds and Chris from the Int base. Had no idea what you and Valeska went through!
I wish smoother sailing for you and your family!
I must say that I admire your grit, tenacity and pure force of will. I am so glad that you have found the love, happiness and fulfillment that you were denied as a child. Children are thetans in small bodies indeed, but they need nuturing and a stable, loving environment above all else. Your child is blessed to have the love and guidance of a mother who has the character and will to provide just such and environment.
Thank you for your story of courage and triumph.
I'm sorry that you and your family suffered so much. You have definitely taken the correct path in righting the wrongs and ensuring that this sort of destruction and human abuse does not freely occur again.
Thank you for your story and for speaking out, it takes much courage to do so and I know you have that a plenty. I remember you well from the Stonelands days. Feisty and quick to talk back, I remember that too :-) I'm glad they didn't break you!
Lots of love
Mareka
second of all, what the hell is everyone smoking? who in their right god damn mind looks at this "religion" as a totally awesome way of life? i should probably say that i think all religion is absurd and counter-intuitive, but this is happening now? in the year 2010? bloody hell that's so fucked up! who would choose this way of life?
i feel awful for the amount of tragedy you've had to endure. i feel very guilty that i've lived a great life with lots of love and freedom from religious shackles and you've had to live in fear without contact with your family. people, the church of scientology is a cult and the people behind it are lunatics! everybody dies the same way, please understand that! we all rot in the ground no matter what higher being we've been told to believe in. just enjoy your life to the fullest because it's the only one you get!
You are one heck of a brave lady. Peace to you and your family.
What a mess! Since you survived all of that, you must be strong. Keep going.
When I saw her last I felt that Angela would need some help. But then she was suddenly not visible anymore. Your story helps to shed some light into the "background". Is she still in the Sea Org in St. Hill?
My god ...I am so happy you and your Sister are back in communication. What happened to your family is criminal. This is not a church, it is a slave camp. I have not read anything this disturbing in quite sometime.
I pray for your family and know that in the end the truth will come out and the lies and criminal actions will stop. My heart goes out to you and your entire family. You will have a life full of love and peace I know it.
When I was getting my comm-ev that was never finished, I was told my a CMO Int lady by the name of Mariane that all Cadet Orgs had been closed down due to how bad stonelands was! Well turns out that that was a lie, Angela runs the Cadet Org at Saint Hill which is why she disapeared. I'm sure they want to keep her off the front lines so that we don't have a chance to speak to her. Hop that answers your question :-) thanks for the kind words by the way :-)
Those words - this is what I think and feel. ^^
Oh yes, I'm more then sure of what you did because it made me decide that I'd never be broken!!! Dominique and Heather were horrible to us kids and you know it. I put a tiny little snippet of us kids lives in my article. I can talk about the "hole", the childrens RPF, the endless beatings, the mental and emotional abuse. I appreciate your apology but I didn't lie and I'll def be writing more. This is my life, my family that was destroyed by people that thought they had the right to control and abuse us. I have practically no family due to the Sea Org and the scientologists that are in the Sea Org. I'm not trying to be harsh but 19 years of abuse, neglect, and lies is ENOUGH!!! I'm sorry that your life hasn't been easy but I remember you clear as day!!!
besides, pam already admitted to treating the kids the way she was instructed to, spanking the kids and also she was not even there when most of the real abuse took place.
i don't think pam was a major player, she seems to be a victim herself.
And ANON to say that the nannies cared about as kids a lot os a complete joke! Why don't you come out with your name, you were probably never in the Cadet Org!
To Anon, hey if you have something to say then don't be a little bitch about it, state who you are and give us some facts as to what your basing your comments on. Yeah Karma's a bitch and my sister explained what happened to Dominique and Jeremy. I'm doing amazinly well, wheres my karma?!?!!
I'm pretty sure that Pam explained how they were told to treat us extra...... Thanks for that by the way. I have amazing respect for you for coming on here and writing what you did and apologising.
Again, I appreciate all the support from people on here and I have no problem with people having an opinion, I wrote what I did so that people could understand what kind of people and what kind of cult this is, the fact that so many have responded is great. If anyone has any questions for me then please ask! THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE!!!!!
I am an old friend of your son kurt when he was in Thailand. We worked together in Nakorn Si Thammarat years ago. We lost contact so could you let him know I am looking for him and would love to catch up. Can you ask him to email me please. Many thanks.
I'm currently a student at the University of Leeds researching a hypothetical documentary about cults in the UK. Your story is really interesting and relevant to our research, would you be willing to talk to us about your experience? All research is confidential, can be anonymous and will only be seen by my tutor and other group members as the documentary will not actually be made.
Would really appreciate hearing from you.
Please email me at documentaryresearch
Thanks,
Sarah
I was in Chicago Org briefly with my ex wife Tina. Do yu remember me? Are yu out yet?
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